The old black man asked in the store, I thanked him and we laughed hysterically.Ive been having problems with my identity lately. Let me clarify, the problem is not the lack of knowledge and comfort with self it has more to do with others. My problem has become with outsiders telling me and demanding ways that I need to identify myself to make them comfortable. This issue has come up far too often in the last few months and unfortunately has only been a conversation brought up by white trans female identifying bodies.
As a black lesbian born female, I can say struggles have come across the board via the work force, judicial system, and even in my own community around identity, but I never imagined the day that I would be addressed for calling myself a lesbian or using words like pussy. I began to question the privilege of any other body, especially that of a white man or woman, demanding anything from me.
Boggled by attacks on terms that I was using to describe myself, it made me question what was really wrong here? It made me question how anyone can police my preferences, and why they would even be so concerned or inclined to do so. This was totally different than the acceptance I received from the old black man who simply "got it", this was white privilege at its best.
Instead of using the word lesbian I have been directed to use the word "cis". As I was told this is the short term for a woman born female. Where does it come from? Why do I need to adjust to a language that I don't identify with and no one can even tell me where it derives from? Who made this the new lingo
and enforced a law that I must follow, because I didn't get the memo. The gay community is being divided into so many sub genres that it is actually separating us more, instead of loving folks for who they are some people are going way to far and telling others who they want them to be.
My ole school Lesbianism seems to not be good enough for the new age gays particularly white trans females. Using the word pussy has gotten me called Transmisogynistic, even though I am a female and have one ( pussy, vagina, cunt, whatever) and have clearly heard of gay guys referring lots of things to "pussies". I laugh, because at the end of the day I don't care what anyone calls themselves. I do not discriminate or judge, it takes too much energy. I wish the complainers understood their waste of time and forcefulness. Just let me live. Stop trying to control me. Allow me and others to call ourselves whatever we want. Be like the old black man, and just accept things they way they are.
As a black woman how could I hate women. I love women, that's why im a lesbian!
....and dont worry, I wont punch you.